6 Driving Myths Busted: Part 2!

Driving TipsBy Martin "The Baron" Hubley
Howdy folks, and welcome to part 2 of Spectacular Driving Facts. I'm The Baron, and I'll be your guide for the end of this journey across our highways.

Oh, and if you haven't checked out Part 1 of this series yet, you can mosey on over and check it out RIGHT HERE. But let's dig right in and get to the final three delicious driving tips I've got for you. Yumm!

Airborne: Nose Candy For Noses

AirborneWhat is Airborne? Why, a popular dietary supplement of course! Like most other dietary supplements, it has never actually been proven to do anything. People still enjoy spending money on it though, because it's the easiest way for them to feel like they're taking care of themselves without actually having to do any real work (such as exercising or not eating twelve Ho-Hos in an hour).
 
I'd been hearing a whole lot about this fascinating product lately, so out of curiosity I decided to purchase a bottle. Then I thought about how much work that would be and decided against it. Then I thought, "Eh, what the hell, I might as well just go do it." and got up from my chair. But as I began walking toward the door, I thought I felt a bit of a headache coming on and figured I'd better lie down for a minute. Then I fell asleep. I didn't end up buying any of the Airborne after all. But I did compile these 100% TRUE FACTS about it.

6 Driving Myths: Busted (Spectacular!)

DrivingBy Martin "The Baron" Hubley
It's surprising to me how little most people actually know about cars. Everyone drives them, but it's rare for a person to pop the hood and gander at the green guts of these great beasts of the road. For example, the other day I was chatting with my friend XtricitY, and he made the outrageous claim that a souped-up honda civic could best a stock dodge viper in roadbattle. I set him straight (natch) but not before coming down with a gnarly headache, which was no doubt brought on by my friend's terrifying ignorance.
 
But I suppose you can't expect people to do their own scientific research in these troubled times of ours...I'm sorry to say that youtubes has overtaken the dictionary and thesaurus as the reference book for our generation. It's a sad state of affairds. But hey, you didn't come to hear me wax prophetic about the death of sneakernet, so let's get to some little known facts about cars! Verooom!

Surviving the First Day of Work

Work DayThe first day of work can be stressful, so I decided to write some tips for people who are going to have their first day of work soon. It includes many different things, like what you should wear, acceptable coworker greeting procedure, how to get rid of those first day jitters, and so very much more. Well actually I'm not going to lie to you: There isn't anything more besides that stuff. But what is there is fairly good, as far as things go. I'd probably give it a 6/10, if I had to give it something.

Alien Abduction Q&A

AliensIt has been said that the search for extraterrestrial life is 10% hard work and 90% luck. One man could spend his entire life gazing at the stars, seeing nothing, while another could glance up from his book for half a second only to be set upon by gangs of interstellar rowdies who beat him with silver truncheons and toss him shrieking into the belly of their silver ship which roars off into the moonless night, leaving only an half-read copy of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to The Mafia" and a soiled pair of undergarments in its wake.

Worthless Guide to Job Interviews

InterviewSo now you've finally found a job and applied for it, what's next? Why the interview process of course! Many people discount the importance of a good interview. "Pshaw," they might be heard to remark as they slip on their favorite pair of torn purple Zubaz and a sweatstained Atlanta Braves baseball cap, "I ain't afraid of no ghosts!" Obviously this comment would be more than a little puzzling. Nobody said anything about ghosts.
 
But whatever, let's get to my interview tips.

Charity Watch: The United Way

United wayAs many of you may well know, I'm a filthy whore for charity. Seriously, it can be a real problem. I just can't seem to stop giving; it's ridiculous! But anyway, I just thought I'd let everyone know about the latest charity I'm supporting is The United Way. You've probably heard of them, they're a pretty popular charity. Anyway, the point is: I've decided to donate 50% of the revenue I receive from this website to United Way. That's great isn't it? Yeah, it really is. I'm a good person.

My Greeting Policies (Addendum)

Troubling GreetingFinding ways to say hello to others a burden which even the most antisocial of us must bear at some point in our lives. Some people utilize a standard "classic" greeting such as "Hi" or "Hello", while others go with more original material such as "Ahoy hoy!", "What's up rapey?" or "Nice ass, mind if I have a look inside?"

Yes, the ways of saying hello are as varied as the colors of the martian sun, and this article serves as a sort of overview of some of my favorites.

Worthless Guide to Job Searches

FiredLet's say you've been doing the same job for 20 years. And then let's say that one day for some reason you got the overwhelming urge to take a dump in the sink of the executive washroom, and that for some reason you actually decided to act upon that urge, and then for some reason the CFO of your company had to use the bathroom and walked in and now he's just standing there STARING at you as you perch there above the sink.
 
So I assume the big question you're probably asking yourself right now is: "What do I do now?" Well, that part's easy: You get fired.

Man Things I Cannot Do: Car Repair

Car RepairThere are many types of men. There are ingenious men, effeminate men, chessplaying men, steel-driving men, and men who play electric guitars. Some men wear derby hats and play pingpong, and others comb their filthy sideburns while whistling tunelessly. It's a hell of a thing.

I think my point is that it would be pointless to assign traits to ALL men, seeing as there are so many endless combinations of beliefs, abilities, and mental illnesses a single “man” can possess. But that doesn't stop people from trying: Men drive cars like this! Men love to fistfight! Men never ask for directions! Men eat corn chips! Men open cans of soup by heaving them at obstructions!  It's obscene. But anyway, now comes the part where I tell you about one of the manthings I don't know anything about: Fixing Cars.
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