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Question: Is this simply a numbered list of leftover "B-Side"
fetishes from the Top
20 Weird Sexual Fetishes Article You Published A While Ago
?

Answer: Sort of. This list does, in fact, contain the fetishes I
didn't have space for in the original article. It also contains many
fetishes which don't even exist. If you'd like to know why this is the
case, I'm afraid I can't help you. But I can tell you that some
of the fetishes below are probably real.

The answers are at the end, if you feel like cheating. Thank you, and
good luck.

1. FORNIPHILIA

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Form Of Bondage In Which A Human Is Used (Or Incorporated Into) A Piece
Of Furniture. Examples Include: Human Drafting Tables, Human Lazy
Suzanns, And Human Shelving.

 

 

2. PARAZOOPHILIA

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Differs From Bestiality In That Sexual Interest Is Only Expressed
Towards Dangerous, Violent, Or Otherwise Aggressive Animals

 

3. AFROTHESBIPHILIA

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Arousal Contingent Upon Accidentally Mistaking One
Black Actor For Another And Subsequently Being Thought Of As A Racist.

4. PSYCHOPHILIA

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Overwhelming Sexual Attraction To Persons With Mental/Neurological
Disorders

5. REDACTOPHILIA

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The Compulsion To Attain Climax By Forcing A Large [Redacted] Into
One's
[Redacted] Releasing [Redacted] From The [Redacted], Drenching
[Redacted] in [Redacted], While Restricting The Flow Of Blood To
[Redacted] And [Redacted] [Redacted] By An Inordinately Painful Bowel
Movement.

6. SACOFRICOSIS

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The Process Of Making A Hole In One's Pocket In Order to Facilitate
Public Masturbation

7. RAMENOPHELIA

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Condition In Which Arousal May Only Be Achieved By Rubbing Noodles On
One's Genitals (Or The Genitals Of A Friend)

 

8. NASOLABIOPHILIA

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Arousal Contingent Upon Genital Contact With Nasolabial Skin Folds On
Partner's Face

 

9. NECROHELIOMOHANOPHILIA

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Arousal Resulting From Reading About The Death Of Veteran Bollywood
Character Actor Mac Mohan And Consequently Feeling Somewhat Guilty That
You've Never Even Heard Of Him Before

 

10. PHOBOSPHELIA

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Arousal Contingent On The Existence Of Irregularly
Shaped
Celestial Bodies Whose Orbital Period Around Mars Happens To Be Shorter
Than A Martian Day

 
 

11. AURANDAPPELLAPHILIA

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Aurarandapellaphiliacs Can Only Attain Arousal From
Hearing People Who Aren't Named Randall Being
Mistakenly Referred To As Randall

 

12. HOMEOVESTISM

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The Opposite Of Transvestism. Homeovestites Become Aroused By Wearing
Clothing Appropriate To Their Gender.

13. PEDPHILIAPHOBIAPHILIA

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Arousal Contingent Upon Being An Adult Who Has Been Diagnosed With A
Fear Of Pedophiles

 

14. ENNEDECAPHILIA

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Compulsion To Pleasure Oneself With 19-Sided Objects

15. LIQUIDOPHELIA

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Arousal Contingent Upon The Submersion Of One's
Genitals In Liquid

 

16. RECURSOPHILIA

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Arousal Contingent Upon Contingent Upon Contingent Upon Contingent Upon
Contingent Upon Contingent Upon Contingent Upon Contingent Upon
Contingent Upon Contingent Upon Contingent Upon Contingent Upon
Contingent Upon Contingent Upon ∞

 

ANSWER KEY

It should come as little surprise to you that a full 11 of these
fetishes were nonexistent. Here are the five "real"
fetishes:

  • Forniphilia
  • Homeovestism
  • Sacofricosis
  • Liquidophilia
  • Ramenophelia (Rubbing ramen on one's genitals). Though this is
    not "officially" recognized as a fetish, I did stumble across some guys
    on a weightlifting forum who claimed to enjoy it. So yeah.

I suppose that's enough about fetishes for now. If I come up with any
more, I'll be sure and let you know. But in the meantime, you may want
to check out The
Original Weird Fetish Article Without Fake Fetishes In It
. But
then again, you may not. Honestly I'm fine with it either way.

 

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