If there's one thing I've learned from inadvertently catching a glimpse
of the cover stories of various women's magazines while waiting for
dental appointments, it's this: When it comes to sex, men are extremely
difficult to please. Don't be discouraged if this sounds preposterous
to you. Most revolutionary ideas seem this way at first, due to our
brain's inability to properly process brand-new, mindblowingly radical
Take, for example, actor Paul Sorvino's reaction to one of his most
popular films, Goodfellas. Upon attending the premier,
he was shocked and unsettled by the film, and claimed to have regretted appearing in it. But with the passage of time,
he came to recognize that the confusing feeling he had experienced in
that theater was not hatred or disgust, but his mind being
blown, and he later would later theorize that the film
was so good that it had left him "in a state of shock."
So all I ask is that you think of this article as the "Goodfellas" of internet sex
guides. The first time you read it, you might think
your brain is saying, "This nothing but an unfocused collection of
underdeveloped ideas masquerading as a list of sex tips for women
and I hope the person who wrote it dies of burns", when what you're actually
thinking is "while my own intellectual failings have made it all but
impossible for me to comprehend these brilliant and revolutionary sex
tips, but at least I can still appreciate that the author has written
about sex, because hey: Sex."
will find some items of note* I found on the internet
recently**. Feel free to look through them if you have a couple
minutes. There's a good chance you probably might not regret it. This
issues topics include:
How To Get Fired From McDonalds, Buying A Stolen Credit Card, The
Spectacular Assholery Of Online Games, Why You Can Tell A Cop To Fuck
Off, Gladiatorial Contests Held By Mexican Druglords, My Little Ponies,
Marijuana As A Cure For Cancer, and [Many Of The] The Possible Ends Of
The World Explained By Science.
those aggregation sites like Reddit which act as a filter for
the internet by allowing people to vote on the best links or articles?
series is sort of like that, except without the voting, or the
the part about how the things you find are interesting and useful. It
isn't updated nearly as often, and it the site it's on is sort of cheap
because I don't really know anything about web design.
But other than all that stuff, I'd say they're pretty much identical.
20 Images So Fantastic They Probably Could've Cured Polio Before Jonas Salk Did If They'd Been Around Back Then
It's 7AM and I haven't gone to bed yet, so to save time, I think I'm
just going to paste a user-submitted plot summary of the film Under
Siege 2: Dark Territory instead of writing an actual intro:
Casey Ryback is traveling with his niece on a train, which is
hijacked by terrorists. The terrorists need a moving headquarters, so
they can take over a satellite capable of vaporizing anything in its
path. The government can't stop them from destroying Washington and
also rupturing a nuclear reactor, killing millions. Casey Ryback uses
his Navy-Seal training to take out all of the terrorists in an
But enough of that. Here are some pictures of things.
welcome to a very special "Flagrant Overuse Of Thesaurus"
Edition of Web Detritus. For those who cannot divine this article's
purpose due to it's gratuitously cryptic title, allow me to elucidate:
What follows is a haphazard compendium of provocative and amusing links
which I have chosen to dispense to The Infobahn* at fixed intervals.
This issue** incorporates the following items: Links, Photos Videos,
More. Thank you.
**Putting the date in the title of every article in this series was
starting to annoy me. So from now on, each one will simply be an
"issue". That way, I only have to type a number instead of a whole
date. Also I don't have to look the date up, or make sure it's correct.
Oh and one last thing: As you can probably see from the title up there,
I didn't want to start at #1, so I kind of just picked a random number
that sounded official. Hope that's alright with you.
people have hands. Some of them use these hands to pick up and
manipulate objects. The word “handheld” is used to describe feats such
But take a moment to imagine a world where nothing ever
became “handheld”. Couch Potatoes: Imagine that your television remote
was as large as a coffee table! Retail Cashiers: There are no portable
price scanners; enjoy typing the barcodes of all oversize items by
hand! Bestiality Aficionados: Good luck grasping your favorite horse’s
genitals! But thankfully the nightmare of “no handhelds” never came to
We live a life of handhelds, and video game systems are no
exception. What follows is a guide to all your favorite portable game
consoles past and present. If you have any complaints, don’t forget you
aren’t paying for any of this.