Live Out Your Life As A Schnook

You turn walk past the man and into a vacant office, where you close and lock the door. The man then robs the bank. Your life continues pretty much as it always has. A few months later you get bored of working at the bank and get it in your head to quit. You never quite get around to it though. You work at the bank another few years until you’re fired for accidentally hanging the phone up on a customer.

You drift from crap job to crap job for the rest of your life, utterly miserable and wondering what might have been if only you had chosen to steal from the bank robber instead of deliberately nothing at all when there was a significantly more interesting choice you should have obviously made.

In any case, about 40 years later you die in your sleep after watching a fifteen hour Mama’s Family marathon on television. You never even liked Mamma’s Family, but there wasn’t really anything else on. Your funeral is attended by exactly four people, including the priest and a gardener who happened to be reseeding one of the nearby plots and heard a bit of the sermon unintentionally.



Mamas Family

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