Cause A Flood To Wash Away The Sin Of Man

Great Flood
After weighing the various options available to you, you decide a great flood would be sort of neat. You leap up and sit with your legs hanging off the roof of the bank and begin the incantations. Upon finishing, you sit kicking your feet and looking bored. In a couple of hours you begin to hear the sound of rushing water, like the sound of an enormous bathtub filling itself many miles away. The sun sinks low. Night is fast approaching.

“Come on, come on...” you growl through clenched teeth, glancing down at your watch, “This is taking forever.”

Then, just as the last rays of red light have receeded over the horizon, you see a towering wall of water rolling in from the east.

“Yahtzee!” you cry, rubbing your hands together.

The wave rumbles in, crashing over fields and over parks and over little boys desperately tying their shoes in the streets while mothers tap their feet impatiently. It smashes apart the marquee announcing the Stienberger – Mitchell wedding reception at the Elk’s Club Hall. It batters to bits the newly waxed El Camino parked in front of the dusty Shoreline Vista apartment complex. It sweeps the maroon shingles from the roof of the Red Roof Inn & Family Eatery, leaving it grey and unremarkable and in line for either a name change or a costly re-shingling. Finally it crashes down upon your head, and the world goes black.

Upon waking, you are dismayed to find yourself still standing upon the solid (if slightly moist) gravel of the roof. You walk to the edge of the building and look down, to see the police and several of your coworkers wading around in what appears to be about 7 inches of water. You splash down into the parking lot, cursing under your breath.

Your plan to destroy every living creature and wipe the world clean of sin is an obvious failure. If anything, you’ve just made more of a mess. As you slog your way home through the muck, you tell yourself that if you haven’t destroyed humanity, at least you probably caused some costly water damage in a few people’s basements.

You never do find out for sure.

THE END