6 Driving Myths Busted: Part 2!

Driving TipsBy Martin "The Baron" Hubley
Howdy folks, and welcome to part 2 of Spectacular Driving Facts. I'm The Baron, and I'll be your guide for the end of this journey across our highways.

Oh, and if you haven't checked out Part 1 of this series yet, you can mosey on over and check it out RIGHT HERE. But let's dig right in and get to the final three delicious driving tips I've got for you. Yumm!

Off Roaders Stop Faster

Off-Roadin!I once had a "friend" tell me that I should be careful while driving my uncle's off-road truck during a blizzard. Not only did he say that that four wheel drive didn't help a car stop faster, but also that I should be careful driving a heavy truck because it takes longer to stop. Oh brother! Needless to say, I laughed directly in his fat face, and proceeded to set him straight with these facts.

1. Four Wheel Drive Improves Capabilities

There is a reason four wheel drive cars are sold, and it isn't because they are worse in the snow. It's basic car knowledge, all four wheels start at the same time, and all four wheels brake at the same time. Better acceleration, better braking. Anyone who thinks less obviously knows nothing about off-road trucks. No question.

2. Heavier Car = Better Grip

I shouldn't even have to explain this, but I guess some people are just idiots. A heavier car presses harder on the ground, therefore it has better grip, therefore it accelerates and stops better. This fact holds true on dry ground, rain, and in snow. ESPECIALLY in snow. Physics doesn't stop working just because of a little old snow.
And hey, if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, ask them this little gem: "Why do truck drivers put sandbags in the back bed of their truck in the winter if it doesn't help them stop?" They'll be speechless.

Spinners Actually Do Give Cars a Speed Boost

SpinnersYou may have seen spinners before. They are the hubcaps (also called grills, by urban folks) which spin independently of the cars actual wheels. They come in a variety of flavors such as chrome, silver, sparkle, and milky dusk. They are actually quite stunning. I for one have a pair on my Town & Country, and I must say, they have been known to turn many a head!
Anywhoo, I had recently posted on a forum I frequent about these newly required rims, explaining how I enjoyed their look, and also how I appreciated the small (and I did say small) speed boost they provided me. It was then that all hell broke down. It wasn't long before the topic was overrun by idiots shouting about how I was a fool and an retard and that spinners did not make a car go faster. The joke is on them, because they actually do, idiots.
"Physics can prove this," I posted, "observe and learn, cretins: Newtons first law of physics states that 'object in motion stay in motion'. This applies to birds, this applies to bullets, and it applies to rims of cars. PHYSICS AFFECTS ALL OBJECTS EQUALLY. When a rim is spinning it is creating centripital force (AKA forward force). Since the rim is connected by a bearing, when it spins it produces less drag on this bearing, and in turn less drag on the wheel. You see what I'm getting at: LESS DRAG = LESS WEIGHT. Combined with the centripital force (which helps to drive the car forwards) this gives our car a bit of a nudge each time the rim makes on revolution. To translate for the less scientifically incline: THIS MEANS FASTER CAR. End of discussion. The speed boost I get might be small, but it is a speed boost none the less!"
Needless to say, I didn't get many responding posts refuting that gem. So there's a moral here: Don't mess with the best, or die like the rest.

Sorry, Men Are Better Drivers Than Women

Woman DriverLovely ladies may have the advantage when it comes to fashion, painting, and horseback riding, but put one of these chicky-poos on the road with a cellular telephone and a bag of ring-dings, and: Watch out fella! Women may have a lot of good traits (beauty, constance, love, etc.) but coordination and the ability to pay attention to things is not one of them. many-a-time have I been driving down the freeway only to see a woman reading a book, talking to a passenger, or driving with her window down. It really burns me up!
Whenever I see a woman who's been in a crash on the road, I have to laugh to myself. Be irresponsible and that's what you get, airhead! Maybe if you weren't checking your mascara or putting on your tampon during your morning commute, you would have seen those breaklights. People never learn. And yes, yes, before all you women email in, I realize that men sometimes do these things too. They just don't do it on the scale that women do, and that's my complaint. Straighten up and fly right, girls. Either that, or learn to use those two chubby stumps you call legs.

That's All She Wrote

Well, that should about wrap her up for now. I certainly hope you've come to a deeper understanding and appreciation of cars after reading this article. I know I have (writing it, that is, tee-hee). Thanks loads for reading, and drive safe out there kiddies.