Top 5 Movies of All Time!

By Martin "The Baron" Hubley
As many of you may be aware, I am quite practitioner of watching amazing movies. I often get requests from my friends for recommendations of what movies I think are the "Best Ever". "The Baron" they have been known to say to me, "There are so many movies out there! What's the quint's essential film I can watch to increase my carnal knowledge of movies and films?" The answer, I always have to tell them, is not so simple that can be said in a single sentence. So I decided to head them off at the past by creating this essential short list of what I believe to be the greatest movies ever made.  
 
These are not only high budget studio picks either, I've also included some lower budget (AKA "Indy" films) on this list for your viewing pleasure. So sit back, pop open a Dew and a bag of Poffs, and enjoy this fun-soaked ride into movie greatness.
 
 

The Matrix 3: The Revolution

Sure, parts 1 and 2 of this series were hot enough to tickle your action boner, but The Matrix 3 is truly where the real action is. Talk about a revolution! For those who are unaware of what this film is (it was a bit of a cult classic) it's the third in a sixtillogy (the Matrix 2, Matrix 3, Animatrix, Enter The Matrix, & The Comics) starring Keno Reeves as a work-a-day scientist who is pulled into a world of computer intrigue. (SPOILDERS WARNING: The machines are using humans as bait to power theirselves).
 
Honestly I think Mr. Reeve's performance is what wills this movie with so much spunk. This may have been the series that made him a huge star, but I'm proud to say I was always a loving fan of his since the beginning. His performances in films like Chain Reactions, Broken Arrow, and Judge Dread throughout the early 1990s left me on the edge of my movie seat more than a few times, let me tell you! The man is a genius, and I can definitely see why Andy and Jim Wachowski chose him to star in the Matrixes. Geniuses knows genuis.
 
But getting back to The Matrix 3, this movie's got it all, and spades! The plot picks up where the second film left off: Neo, Trinity, Morph, and The Fish are on the road to the last free city in the world. It is called New Eden and is located in the core of the earth. Of course things are not as easy as they seem. The road to New Eden is jam packed with enemies like the evil Mr. Smith (played by Aragorn from LOTR) and his henchies. Neo will have to fight to the death with Smith while the others fight off herds of giant spiderbots for the fate of New Eden is in their hands. Luckily they have mechs.  
 
The fights are also second to none. You'll feel every punch kick and juicy squirt as if it had squirted right in your face. The coreographer for this movie deserves a lot of credit along with the scripters. Good on the wachowskis for realizing that you need more than some sweet-ass action scenes to create the greatest action film of all time.
 
You also need heart.
 
 

Leon The Professional

Renamed to Leon in France, this 100% US Born and bread MEGATON thriller is smarter than the average bear. It's got everything a red-blooded American boy like me could ask for: Explosions, Guns, Hitmen, Hot Sexy Babes (Natalie Portman, you might say she's one "professional" sex machine in this flick!), explosions, and white knuckling action sequences.

It's also 100% drug-free, which means it gets my "4 The Kids" seal of approval.

MicGruff the crime dog says: Stay off drugs and into school, kids. Griff!

 

The Boondock Saints

It's not often that a truly great film makes it as a success. The big studios ignore plenty of amazing and original films (like this one) in order to release big budget overly violent pieces of unoriginal garbage like Zombieland (zombies are out...) or sexist dribble like Savage Sarah Marshall or 40 Years Old Virgin. Talk about offensive and clueless. A man's virginity is his castle no matter how old he is and should not be made fun of in a film. Similarly they depicted the action figure collectors lifestyle (which I currently lead) as being for losers, which could not be further from the truth. Some of us actually DO have a girlfriend who lives in Canada. Get a life people.
 
What I'm trying to say here is that not many people have seen The Boondock Saints, and they really should, as it is possibly one of the best films ever made. Ever. It does have some salty language from time to time (which I obviously do not approve of) but the genius storytelling and masterfilled writing more than make up for that. This movie does things I have never seen before, such as having the characters shoot a cat, and throw a toilet off a roof, and hang from the ceiling shooting. Yes, it's just as amazing as it sounds.
 
The only real drag about this film is actor (more like actress) Daniel DeFoe. He dresses as a gay woman and pretty much ruins the film by trying to seduce everyone in sight. Oh brother! As the director (Troy McDuff) is a real stand-up class act from what I hear through the grapes vine, I'm pretty sure DeFoe probably ad-libbed these scenes on his own. Maybe he got a big head from playing Jesus in that old (and gross) movie about Jesus and decided he can do whatever he wants. Why the studio allowed such whoretrash in the final cutting is beyond me.
 
But other than that I cannot recommend this movie enough. The quotes, wits, style, sense of form, humor, sexyness and beautiful writing are just too good to be explained.
 
 

Star Wars Prequels

I think most of you movie buffs out there will give out a hearty "LOL" at the fact that I even had to include these movies on the list. Of course they some of the best actioners of all time, it goes without saying! I realize that this is true, but you also have to realize that there have been plenty of nay-sayers saying nays left and right about these movies ever since they were released.

To these people I just have to say once and for all: GROW UP. If you can't see the imagination and wordly vision of these movies, then you can just go straight to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect a hundred dollars, because you don't know nothing about films.
 
For those who still doubt the greatness of these movies (and say the old versions are superior), let a true expert set you straight.

FACT: George Lucas is a True Artist

He doesn't let the big boys at the movie studio push him around. He doesn't set out to please the morons in the audience. He makes the movie he wants to make, how he wants to make it without concern about how much money it will make. That's the mark of a true genius.

FACT: Newer Episodes Contain Better Actors

Natalie Portman, Hayden Christenson, Keisha Knight-Pullman, and Sam Jackson are only a few of the awesome actors in the new thrillogy. Such big names are heard to beat, and the old films just can't compete with this kind of star power. The only good actor in the original was Mark Hamill, and while he's amazing, he can't support a whole film on his own.   

FACT: The New Thrillogy Made More Money

The old 70s Star Wars trillogy only made about 1.8 billion dollars. The new improved episodes 1-3 Thrillogy made more than 2.8 billion. Needless to say, you haters just got smackdowned. How does that feel?
 
 

V For Vendetta

From time to time a movie comes along and changes everything you believe about the world. V For Vendetta is one of them. I'm not ashamed to admit, when I first watched this movie I bawled like a baby. It really struck a nerve with something inside of me. You've never heard a story like this before, so allow me to explain it: A corrupt government is keeping it's people down and only one mystery man can save them by revealing the truth behind the lies. He breaks into the TV station and broadcasts the truth over the airwaves. Pretty revolutionary, I know. I've never heard a story that comes close to touching on themes like these.

I guess as a person who appreciates freedom it really just resounded with me strongly, and that is exactly why I have named it the #1 Best Movie of All Time!
 
 
 
 
 
I hope you have all enjoyed this look back at the history of the best in cinema from an expert's point of view. Kudos to the actors and directors for making these great films, and kudos to you the viewer for education yourselfs about what amazing cinema truly is.
 
Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed this little show!