Google Autocomplete Answers 8 More Important Questions

How does Google Autocomplete work? Well I'll tell you. Imagine, if you will, the CEO of a large corporation. Now imagine that this man performed a search on Google for "Erectile Dysfunction" followed soon after by a search for "nude photos of Mark Hamill vacuuming in a wig" and then submitted another search 3 minutes (and one flush of the toilet) later for " has anyone else cured their erectile dysfunction by looking at nude photos of Mark Hamill vacuuming in a wig because shit I think I just might have.

"You might be wondering what, precisely, the obviously fabricated story of a closeted homosexual CEO reigniting his sexual pilot light by viewing burlesque photographs of Luke Skywalker has to do with me displaying screen captures of interesting and amusing Google autocomplete results.

This is a valid question, and one to which I currently have no answer.

WHAT'S OUR PUZZLING SEXUAL ATTRACTION?

WHICH PET MEDICATIONS ARE WE HOPING TO ABUSE?

WHAT UTTERLY ABSURD CONTINGENCY ARE WE CONSIDERING?

WHICH UNSETTLING TRAITS DO OUR FECES POSSESS?

WHICH LAWS ARE WE INTENDING TO BREAK?

WHAT'S WITH THESE RUSSIANS?

WHY ARE OUR CHILDREN BEING SUSPENDED?

WHAT'S THAT WHITE STUFF?