Let's say you've been doing the same job for 20 years. And then let's say that one day for some reason you got the overwhelming urge to take a dump in the sink of the executive washroom, and that for some reason you actually decided to act upon that urge, and then for some reason the CFO of your company had to use the bathroom and walked in and now he's just standing there STARING at you as you perch there above the sink.
 
So I assume the big question you're probably asking yourself right now is: "What do I do now?" Well, that part's easy: You get fired.

What led me to write this article was a conversation I had about ghouls with a coworker the other day. I said, “Hey, what exactly IS a ghoul anyway.” He ignored me, turning a page in his book. “Is a ghoul the same thing as a ghost? Maybe it's more like a zombie. But I think ghouls are smaller, and I thought they had pointy ears...”

“Mmm.” My coworker said, without looking up.

“What about a gremlin?” I continued, “Maybe a ghoul is a type of gremlin. Oh! Or maybe it's a goblin! That sounds more like it. But hey, what's the difference between a gremlin and a goblin anyway? I don't think they're the same thing.” He still wasn't paying any attention, but it didn't matter. My mind was made up. “When I get home I'll look up ghouls on the internet.” I said.

So I did, and here's what I found out.

By Martin “The Baron” Russmier
A bully can hurt others in many ways. They can damage someone emotionally (with harsh words or deeds), but they can also damage them physically. I’ve had my share of run-ins with bullies. I’m ashamed to admit that in my lifetime I’ve been “beaten up” more times than I can remember. But then, on my 30th birthday, I made a pact with myself: I decided I wasn’t going to be pushed around anymore. So, I decided to learn self-defense, and created a training regimen for myself.

Now its six years later and I’m ready to fight! I am proficient in almost every form of martial art you can imagine. I know Karate, I know Kendow, and yes, I even know Tai-Bo. Yeah, laugh if you want, but you won’t be laughing long when I break out my patented Tai-Bo “Fury of Blows”. Now here’s how to put a bully in his place.  

I suppose owning your own home could be considered an integral part of The American Dream. Well, not of my own personal American Dream, but of the Vague & Nonspecific American Dream most people imagine. I honestly don’t think I can define it, but the one thing I’m sure of is that it doesn’t have much to do with reality.

For example, if life followed the tenets of TAD, the “affordable” townhome I recently purchased wouldn’t have had a busted hot water heater, urine-soaked burnt orange carpet, an ancient & barely-functional air conditioner, drafty windows, and weird sloping/rolling cement floors in the basement which may or may not have been hastily constructed to conceal a temple of ancient evil. But whatever, here’s some junk about buying houses.