I Hereby Grant You Permission To Chase Waterfalls

Heed not the warnings of early 90s R&B groups. Waterfalls were placed on this earth by Our Lord God for one reason and one reason only: So that they may be chased.

I realize that many of you may have a strong inclination towards "sticking to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to" but what you likely fail to realize is that puttering around in large, stationary pools of liquid, or immersing yourself in freshwater as it runs towards an ocean can in no way match the physical and emotional fulfillment one can achieve from chasing a waterfall. Not even close.
 
So if you'd allow me, I'd like to go ahead and refute some of the most common arguments against the pursuance of water which happens to be flowing down a steep grade due to the effects of gravity along with a rapid drop in elevation.
 
 
 

YOU'LL DROWN

Highly unlikely. Contrary to popular belief, the average waterfall does not have sufficient volume to drown an average person, even if they were to stand directly under it. When many people think of a waterfall they imagine a heavy torrent of water which travels off a steep cliff into a deep pool or chasm. In reality, these types of falls are fairly uncommon, and make up only a fraction of the waterfalls on this planet.

"Fan" waterfalls, for instance, spread horizontally while maintaining contact with the bedrock; while the "horsetail" style falls behave much in the same way. I'd venture that the average person would be hard-pressed to drown in waterfalls such as these.

 

YOU CAN NEVER CATCH A WATERFALL

This is patently absurd. A waterfall is not some immaterial notion like tort reform or an illusory visual entity like a rainbow, it is an tangible physical construct which exists in real three-dimensional space. And not only that, but waterfalls are, by their very nature, stationary. As such, they can easily be caught and/or captured by even the most dim-witted of humans (or even, in some cases, by higher-caste beasts).

 

YOU'LL FALL TO YOUR DEATH

If one follows proper waterfall "fair chase" regulations, there is absolutely no chance whatsoever of this occurring. First of all, even waterfall pursuit laymen know that the proper way to approach a waterfall is from the front (i.e. the area of lower elevation, bottom of the cliff, etc). Proper procedure dictates that one should never approach a waterfall from the rear. This is stated for safety reasons, as well as practical ones, as it is far more difficult to chase a waterfall one cannot see, which can lead to so-called death plunges, in which the chaser simply runs off a cliff or outcropping near the waterfall and "plunges" to his or her "death".
 
It should be noted, however, that in extremely rare cases, the face of a waterfall can be approached at a 45-60 degree angle during a chase. But this is only recommended under the direst of life-and-death circumstances.
 
 

EVEN IF YOU CAUGHT UP TO A WATERFALL YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT

Once again: False. There are a number of options available to those who manage to catch up to a waterfall.

Containment

Depending on the size of the waterfall and the body of water from which it flows, one could either place an extremely large cargo container at the bottom of the falls or rig up a complex series of dams, troughs, and aqueducts which could then divert the waterfall into the receptacle of your choice.

Introspection

While it is possible to simply gaze thoughtfully at the waterfall while ruminating on universal truths or engaging in wistful musings on the nature of humanity, I would counsel against it, as it is somewhat boring.

Revelry

Many waterfall chasers enjoy luxuriating or wallowing in a waterfall upon successful completion of a chase. This is most often accomplished by standing in the falls themselves and rubbing one's hands all over oneself while moaning or shouting "Woooooo!"  Team chasers (groups of waterfallers comprised of 2 or more people) might also consider removing their clothing and engaging in some water-based "high-jinks" in the falls, such as splashing, dunking, or the spitting of fountains of water into the air.

Catharsis

Upon reaching the falls, some choose to view them as the embodiment of all those who have hurt of wronged them in their lives. They often begin to verbally abuse the falls calling them a "disappointment" or a "failure" before resorting to vicious personal attacks on the falls' friends, and will eventually be so overcome with hatred that they will begin to hurl rocks and various personal sundries at the falls while screaming "I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!" The falls will make no acknowledgement of these transgressions against it, and will continue soaking up abuse until the attacker has been purged of all ill feelings towards others. And it is only then are they able to achieve salvation, and inner peace.
 
 

BUT ALAS...

In the end, I suspect that you're going to have it your way or nothing at all. There's really not much I can do about this. But I would be remiss if I did not point out that I strongly believed that you were moving too fast.