It's The 78th Annual Shameful Ricki Lake Show Title Awards!

Welcome to the second installment of the 78th Annual "I Give Awards to Shitty Daytime Talk Show" Awards. The wonderful program I have singled out for praise this time around is Ricki Lake. If you are unfamiliar with the show you can find everything you need to know about it here, but this really isn't necessary. After looking over this list you'll likely have a better understanding of what the show was all about than most of the web-footed inbreds who watched it.

The most interesting I found while browsing through lists of episodes is that the writers over at Ricky must've had something of an "Let's all take 10 grams of Mushrooms and make pretend like we're R. Kelly" mindset when it came to naming their shows. Which is to say: They really enjoyed coming up with weird-ass urban limerick excerpts and clumsy sexualized half-puns. So consider this fair warning that list contains plenty of things like "Cut All the Drama. You Aint Nuthin but a Fat Hoochie Momma" and "Your Nasty Addiction Will Make Me Your Ex... Today You Choose Me or Cybersex".

Ugh.

The "Violence Towards & Relating To Children" Award

3rd Place

I Use Belts, Sticks, Paddles to Discipline Our Kid, Got a Problem with That?

2nd Place

Help! My Teen Beats Me Up!

1st Place

Girl You're Pregnant... Stop Your Fist Fighting

The "Simply Stating The Facts" Award

3rd Place

You Got Off Welfare - Big Deal

2nd Place

Yeah, I Drink and Drive with My Kids [What of It?]

1st Place

Mom, We're Black

The "Shoplifter's Choice" Award

I'm a Booster so I Steal, Stop Your Trippin' Shoplifting's No Big Deal

The "You Came All The Way Here For That Shit?" Award

2nd Place

You Teased Me When I Was Fat & Round

1st Place

You Screamed Another Name While Making Love to Me

The "Puzzling Misappropriation of Lesbianism" Award

2nd Place

Back Off! You're a Lesbian . . .

1st Place

Straight Women Who Can't Resist Lesbian Studs: a Ricki Exclusive!

The "Gangland Sweetheart" Award

2nd Place

We're Family in Rival Gangs...But My Gang Comes First

1st Place

Gang Girls with Babies

The "Ass Like a Burlap Sack Full of Cottage Cheese" Award

3rd Place

Watch Out! I'm 400 Pounds and Lookin' Hot

2nd Place

Your Bulgin' Thighs Are Hurtin' My Eyes. Cover Up Girl!

1st Place

Girl You Must Be Trippin'... You're too Fat to Be Strippin'

The "Ability to Utilize The Word 'Weave' In an Supremely Ridiculous Fashion" Award

2nd Place

Weave Wars II

1st Place

My Style is Magical, Yours is Tragical...I'm the True Diva of the Weave

The Ruth Bader Ginsburg Award for Excellence in The Recognition of Women's Rights in Broadcasting

Quit Complaining And Get Back In The Kitchen...You're My Woman, You're Not Getting A Job!

The Ruth Bader Ginsburg Award for Excellence in The Recognition of The Existence of Vampires in Broadcasting Award

I Hate That You Sleep In Coffins And Hang Out In Cemetries...Quit Being A Vampire!

Thank you so very much for reading this week's awards, and be sure and check your local listings for the Ricki Lake Show!

Photo Credits
[1] [2] [3] [4]

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