To Whom It May Concern,
Cannot update site. Body being ravaged by illness. Possibly dropsy, lumbago, or grocer's itch. Unsure due to intense hallucinations and intermittent bouts of mental incoherence. Razorblade chesspiece wingman, all the waxen faces. Must travel inland and visit with physician straightaway.

Press thine lips to the breach and bask in the shadow of the sun.

Warmest Regards,
H.K. Richarson, Site Curator


01/10/12: Various personal issues have made it all but impossible for me to continue updating this site. In light of this, I am taking a temporary leave of absence from posting stupid shit on here. Christ knows how long I'll be away, but it shouldn't be more than a few months.

In any case, I'm sure you can find some more constructive ways to waste your time in my absence, like learning coin tricks, attempting to peel the entire skin of an orange off in one piece, or whatever else it is you people do in your spare time.

See you when I see you.

Oh, hello there. I didn't hear you come in. Stick around, it's perfectly alright. I was just finishing up an article I intend to publish on the internet. It's mostly just a collection of links to news stories and articles I...was...hey, what're you doing? Oh my god, what the hell is that!? Oh my god. Oh my god! No! No! AUUGGHH! Help! Somebody help me! NRRGkerIJ IASD67ng,uj.

This week's top stories: Ingenious Bank Robberies Gone Wrong, Near-Death Experiences 'Splained By Science, What We Can Learn From Cinematic Time-Travellers, Why Media Piracy Is Worse Than Murder, Hip-Hop Lyrics Dissected By An Intelligent Man, The Perils Of Bestiality, And The Wittiest Comebacks Of All Time.

So hey: Here's another one of these link roundup things. This one is pretty hearty (plenty of links) so I suppose we better get started right away.

Topics covered include: US Destinations With Racist Names, The Least Untrustworthy Companies In The US, Maurice Sendak Calls A Guy A 'Flaccid Fuckhead', Cellphone Cancer, Some Prick Haunted House, The Most Bestest Scientists Ever, and Hotels Built To Facilitate Murder.

On Sunday, September 11th 2011, I went through took some screen captures of the "Most Popular Stories" sections of various news websites (CNN, Fox News, Time, ABC News, The Huffington Post, MTV News, The Guardian, E! Online, The BBC) because I thought it'd be interesting to see what sorts of things people were reading.

But don't worry, this isn't political commentary or a somber, teary-eyed tribute to the victims of 9/11. Lucky for you, I have very little respect for arbitrary days of remembrance. It seems awfully silly to be "extra sad" on a particular iteration of a holiday simply because happens to be divisible by a nice round number. Also, it bugs me how successful most news outlets are at using milestones like these to squeeze a bunch of extra advertising dollars out of the public. I guess the point I'm trying to make is: People be gullible, yo.

Anyway, to summarize: I took some screenshots from a bunch of news sites on 9/11/2011 and if you suspect you might be interested in what other people were ostensibly interested in on this particular date, you might want to take a quick look.

You will find them listed below, in no particular order. Godspeed. (And just to clarify: These are not fake, nor have I edited them in any way)

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Web Detritus, an online repository of profoundly irrelevant links, videos, and articles, hand-picked by me, a human at a desk.

Here's a little of what I've scrounged up this time around: Which Guns Are Best For Killing Dinosaurs, Poor People In "The Good Old Days", Why Nightclubs Blow, Two-Headed Mutant Felines, An Easy Way To Waste 11 Million Dollars, 3D Movies Which Aren't Complete Shit, And Which Cellphone Provider Cares Least About Your Privacy (Hint: It's All Of Them).

Question: Do you enjoy viewing amateur art drawn by fans of various things? If so, this may be just the article for you.

But before I get started, I'd like to make it clear that my intention is not to cut down or ridicule the artists behind these images, as I feel that doing so would be inexcusably cruel (even by my fairly loose moral standards). And frankly, even if I did want to make fun of this stuff, I'm not sure I'd even know where to begin. I mean, I have a hard enough time writing jokes about things I can comprehend, so there's probably no point in me trying to wring extra humor out of something as mystifying as a bunch of deeply religious Naruto sketches some kid posted to Deviantart.

So that why for this gallery, I'm playing it straight. No smart-ass jokes or pointless captions to distract you from the photos. So come right in and pull up a chair. There's more than enough lunacy to go around.

Side Note: This gallery does contain any sexually explicit material, so you can probably look through it at work. Although if someone saw you'd probably look like a pretty huge freak. So keep that in mind.