Recourceful Drifter

 
Your distinguishing characteristics:

• You’re a fast thinker and a fast talker; charisma is your tool.
  
  
• You often nap under oak trees on warm summer afternoons.
  
  
• You once fooled Opie Taylor and a small group of other young children into bringing you food by pretending to have a crippled leg.
  
  
• You have used a handkerchief to strain coffee grounds.
  
  
• The nicest place you’ve ever stayed was somebody’s 1995 Lincoln Town Car which they happen to have left unlocked in the airport parking lot.
  
  
• You play in a reasonably successful bluegrass band, but everything fell apart when the wooden spoon player / lead singer quit in order that he might pursue a lucrative career as a night manager at Denny’s.
  

I would recommend posing as a well-to-do out of state oil tycoon and attempting to trick a rich widow into marrying you. Get yourself a suit, a top hat, and a monocle and give it all you’ve got. It this doesn’t work you can always just rob her and use the money to get a prostitute and some malt liquor.



You are extremely cool! Kids look up to you because you can do all those coin tricks, women love the 5 o’clock shadow, and men admire your freewheeling lifestyle. Sure, it might not sound cool to be found dead in a gutter at the age of 34, wrapped in discarded newspapers and surrounded by spoons caked with crack residue, but you wouldn’t have had it any other way.