Web Detritus (Week of 02.27.11)

Image removed.Each week
I compile my favorite links, videos, infographics, photo galleries, and
whatever else I happened to stumble upon. In case you hadn't figured it
out by now, that's what this is.

This week: The Most Dangerous Jobs In America, What Prison Is Actually
Like, Beautiful Polish Art, Another Reason To Dislike Best Buy, A Bunch
Of Vintage Cereal, and How Much Money You Can Really Make From
A Blog.

Top 10 Reasons Why Top 10 Lists Are So Popular

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Depending on who you ask, the growing popularity of "Top 10" articles
on the internet is either A. The
surest proof that humankind is becoming steadily dumber and a troubling
harbinger of the coming Idiocracy, or B. Pretty neat because they are fun and
looking at numbered things is easier than reading words in a dumb old
book anyhow.
Which of these theories is correct? I'm afraid I don't really know. But
as a respected Orthopedic Surgeon and Semiretired Professor of Internet
Sociology I do feel that I am uniquely equipped to explain to
you the reasons for the proliferation of Top 10 Lists. And
although I could easily summarize these reasons in one or two
sentences, I feel it is my obligation as an Internet Content Creator to
needlessly dilute them by stretching them out into a Top 10 List
So here are (in no particular order) the Top 10 Reasons Why Top 10
Lists Are So Popular.

Web Detritus (Week of 02.20.11)

Image removed.My weekly
collection of useful links, fascinating articles, crazy
photos, and mildly entertaining videos.
Here's what I have this week: Why White People Are Still Afraid To Date
Black People, 10 Publicity Stunts That Went Bad, What Happened To The
Children Of Nazis, The Most Stressful Jobs In America, A Crazy
Timelapse Transgender Transformation, An Overly Stalky Facebook Breakup
Notifier, and A Requiem For The Lost Art Of Pickpocketing.

9 Impractical & Potentially Offensive Ways To Avoid Shaking Hands

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Of all the pointless and antiquated traditions humans infuriatingly
continue to adhere to, shaking hands is probably the one I resent me
the most. I'm not quite sure why I hate the idea of handshakes so much,
and since it'd take more than a few sessions with a psychiatrist to
figure it out, I'll probably never know for sure. But if I had to
guess, it'd say it's probably a combination of two things:

  1. Handshakes serve no practical purpose and I see them as phony and
  2. I'm a contrarian sociopath who derives pleasure from flouting
    social codes I disapprove of.

In all honestly, it's probably 99% due to the latter, but
in the end, I guess it doesn't really matter why I hate handshakes. I just do.
What's really important is that I've come up with this list of ways to
get out of shaking hands. Granted, this guide won't be of much use to
actual well-rounded adults, but certain groups people (Germaphobes,
Insufferable Iconoclasts, Angry Goth Teens, etc) will likely find it
very useful.
So with that in mind, here are 9 sneaky and underhanded ways to get out
of shaking someone's hand.

Web Detritus (Week of 02.13.11)

Image removed.My weekly
collection of links, infographics, videos, articles and plenty of other
cool stuff.

This time: Gay Animals, Vomit-Inducing 3D Gifs, Ridiculous Failed
Foods, The Past vs The Future, Why I Love Larry David, Smoking Pot For
Your Health, Startling New Info On The Band LFO, and The Most
Depressing Game In The Universe

20 Absurd Costumes To Fill Your Cold Heart With Joy

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A good online writer will use an introductory paragraph like this one
to give readers a brief overview of what the attached article is about
in an entertaining fashion. This encourages "click throughs" to the
main text, and ensures that the article gets as many pageviews (and
therefore generates as much advertising revenue) as possible.
It should be obvious that the text you are reading right now is an
example of an extremely poor introductory paragraph. It is overlong,
plainly written (yet not elegantly so), contains little to no useful
information, and fails to make even the slightest attempt at capturing
the interest of someone who may have stumbled across it accidentally. I
suppose I could try to counteract some of this by begging you to
continue reading ("Please, please, please, just scroll through and take
a look! I've spent oh so much time and effort on this highly
entertaining piece, it'd be a shame if you passed it up!"), but this is
impossible, as it is not in my nature to lie.
If I wanted to I could backtrack, here, at the very last second, by
cramming in some kind of half-assed segue linking this intro to the
content below, but I think I'd derive far more satisfaction out of
abruptly ending this sentence after implying that I was about to do so,
so let's find out.*

Web Detritus (Week of 02.07.11)

Image removed.A
compilation of neat links, top-quality articles, infographics, weird
videos, and other useful slash cool stuff.
This week: Why Weddings Blow, The Perils Of Anonymity, LSD Artwork,
Bizarre Illnesses, How To Cheer On Suicide Cases, The Wrath Of 4Chan, A
Great Place To Sell Used
Books, and Why People With Severe Brain Damage Should Not Write
Customer Reviews.

7 Reasons Why Getting Old Is Awesome

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It seems like all you ever hear about is how awful it is to get old.
Back pain, high blood pressure, grey hair, rest homes, the inability to
see or hear anything, heart attacks, and death (yawn) and just a few of
the "negatives" which make aging seem less than desirable.
But here's what the pessimists don't tell you: There are also many
positive aspects to aging, many of which are cool enough to outweigh
the shitty stuff. Then again, I may be somewhat biased when it comes to
the elderly, as at the age of 27, I already posses many "old people"

My hair is already going grey, I complain constantly, take far too many
pills, spend almost my entire day napping, find loud music obnoxious,
and in public places I go out of my way to avoid groups of teenagers
because who knows they might be Kubrickian hooligans who'd jump me
"just for kicks". So maybe I'm an old person in spirit already. Who
Either way, I think you'll find that I still have some valid reasons
why it'll be awesome to get old. Take a look.

Web Detritus (Week of 01.30.11)

Image removed.A
collection of cool links, strange & useful articles,
infographics, videos, and much more.
This week: The Government Tells You How To Take Ecstasy, The Modern Mob
In New York City, A Depressing trip To Disneyworld, An Infographic
Critiquing Infographics, Some Frighteningly Symmetrical Faces, Bad
Habits Of RPG Players, The Joys Of
Internet Piracy, and Why Owls Are Dumbasses.