VARIETY

In this chaotic, advertorial, multibranded world of ours, it can be difficult to know precisely how much value one is actually getting for one's money. The best solution to this problem is to carefully research your purchases beforehand, but this can take time and effort, and it's not half as much fun or easy as just buying whatever seems the neatest.
 
The other alternative is to rely on worthless folk wisdom such as "you get what you pay for". But of course, whenever any reasonably wealthy person follows "you get what you pay for" to its logical conclusion they end up driving some piece of crap Lincoln with heated seats that don't work, paying 4 dollars extra for "organic" corn chips, or buying an eight thousand dollar pair of Bose speakers because they cost a lot and thus "must have been really good."

So here's some of the overpriced crap rich people often like to waste their money on.

Call me skeptical, but the first time I saw 5-Hour Energy Drink, I immidiately dismissed it as a scam. I mean, all the telltale signs were present: 1. The price was relatively high. 2. The words "Energy Supplement" were present on the bottle. 3. The label appeared to have been designed by a semiliterate child and printed on a cheap laser printer in some meth addict's basement. 4. It was sitting on the counter at a filthy gas station next to a container of laser pointer keychains and Playboy bunny lighters. So I think you can forgive me for concluding that the whole thing wasn't on the up-and-up.
 
But in the interest of semi-science (internet science?) I decided to buy a few bottles of 5-Hour Energy Drink, do some research on the ingredients, and perform a few test-drinks to see what effect this shining example of Ostensibly Shady Energy Drink Marketing would have on my hypercynical, overly suspicious mind. The results of my experiment are contained in the following article, which is guaranteed to thrill, educate, and excite you (provided your standards are low enough).

A continuation of my hard-hitting look at the secret world of poetic spam emails. Meaning: I got a bunch more crazy spam emails. You may look at them and be moderately amused, if you wish.

Listen up: I sorted through a bunch more of the ridiculous and absurd customer complaints over at Complaintsboard and have compiled the most interesting ones here for your perusal.

Alright let's go!