Variety

As a Doctor of Math, I often have to deal with a lot of the misinformation that floats around about math. Whenever I hear a child (or even an adult) make a claim like "Math is boring" or "It's pointless to learn math" I just have to cringe. I then also have to take the time out of my busy schedule to set the misinformed wretch straight, which I also do not appreciate. But what else am I to do? Am I to allow the good name of mathematics to be casually shat upon without lifting a finger? Certainly not.
 
So, to set the record straight once and for all, I recently invited members of the public to send me any pressing questions or concerns they had about math. This way I could publish the most common questions (along with my answers), and in doing so ensure that the absolute beauty (and usefulness!) of mathematics could be revealed to as many people as possible.
 
So, without further ado: Math!

By Martin "The Baron" Hubley
Greetings and salutations viewers! This is your old pal The Baron here, ringing in the new year for one and all. I was thinking about the best way to celebrate the fresh century and I came up with what I think is a pretty darn fantastic idea: I would create a list of my favorite movies of 2009! So that's exactly what I did, I went through "fave films" section my dream journal and picked out the rootinist, tootinist, shootinist list of the greatest movies I had seen last in the old zero niner.
 
So grab a sack of butter and cover your heads, because Baron Marty's about to drop some movie knowledge on yall's heads.

As far as I'm concerned, the term "Nerd" has been rendered all but meaningless. I wouldn't use it at all, except I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to describe people who play World of Warcraft for 33 hours straight while listening to a single Dragonforce song on repeat, or who will say "lawl" out loud without a hint of hesitation or self-consciousness. So let's just say I'm updating Nerd for the 21st century. Now, instead of pocket protectors, glasses, and Dungeons & Dragons, Nerd signifies an unreasonable love of anime, horrifyingly frequent postings on message boards, and a complete and utter lack of anything resembling originality.
 
These are the social cripples, the sniveling masturbators. Rejected (some would say rightly so) by their schoolyard peers, they have sought refuge amongst the similarly-damaged youths who make up the online collective. Here, they are given the opportunity to climb a reverse social ladder, one in which the individual is not rewarded for attractiveness, physical prowess, cleverness, or the ability to abstain from using racial slurs, but rather by Time Spent Grinding, Posts Per Hour, and (most relevant to this article) The Ability to Deliberately Mimic The Deliriously Annoying & Repetitive Patterns of Speech Favored By One's Online Peers. Which is to say: There are far too many internet nerds perpetuating rock-stupid verbal memes.
 
Below are a few common nerdly phrases which--when used--cause me to become unreasonably upset.