RoFro: Poetry Poet
Tell me, friend: Are you BORED of traditional poetry? Have you grown TIRED of rhyme, meter, and verse? Do you sometimes FLY into howling rages and embark upon methamphetamine-fueled, multistate child-disembowelment sprees upon discovering poetry books on your bookshelf? If so, then listen closely, because I'm about to share a revolutionary, lifechanging product that will blow your mind through the top of your skull and into low-earth orbit where it shall remain until The Great Wild Goddess of Orbital Decay swats it out of the sky like some cheap Soviet satellite.

What if I told that written poetry was on its way out? What if I told you you there was another way to enjoy poetry? What if I told you that instead of READING words arranged on a page, you could rip a poem open, hollow it out, and wriggle INSIDE of it in order to literally EXPERIENCE the thoughts and emotions of its author?

If you're like most people, you'll almost certainly respond to these questions by screaming until your father runs into the room wielding a fire poker and bellows, "Sweet Christ! How the hell did you get into our house?! Answer me! ANSWER ME YOU SON OF A BITCH! Cheryl?...CHERYL! Call the police! There's a goddamn MANIAC in Katie's room! Jesus God, HURRY!"  

That, or you'll just ask me to explain what I'm talking about. For simplicity's sake, I'm just gonna go ahead and assume you've asked the latter question so I can get started.

Choose Your Own Adventure: A Life Of Crime

It is a particularly fine summer evening. You are taking a shortcut through a field of wheat, on the way to your job at the bank. Suddenly you feel a tremendous pressure in your eardrums and a white light envelops you. You are lifted, struggling, into the belly of a spacecraft.

An alien approaches and informs you that you are to be the subject of an experiment on human nature. The alien says you are to receive a number of randomly assigned superpowers, and that you are free to use these powers as you see fit.

You rub your hands together and say, “Alright then.”

The alien squeals with delight and flips a switch. A bell rings and the floor opens up, sending you tumbling out of the ship.

What do you do?

Attempt to fly

Shake your fist angrily at the ship as you plummet towards earth

Syndicate content

What Now?