Variety: Preview

Sainted / Tainted 4: Cellphones & Obesity

Sainted

It doesn't take much to make a stranger's life better. It also doesn't take much to ruin it for a short time. I would recommend trying both to figure out which feels best for you. Who knows, you might just be featured in a future article of Santed & Tainted! Do you dare dream?

Snapple Facts: Madness

Facts Madness
Now here are some more snapple facts. These particular items come courtesy of the patients at Bethlem Royal Hospital's mental ward. They've worked very hard to bring you these, so I hope you have a grand old time! Thanks and be sure to have your pets spayed and neutered.

Snapple Facts: Kids

Kids facts
Did you know that Snapple now has a line of fruit drinks for children? Instead of having "fun facts" under the caps, they feature a number of child safety tips. Here are some suggestions I have for extra tips that might help a kid out. Once again, Snapple had better not try to steal these from me.

Part 1 - Classic Facts
Part 2 - Kids Facts

Snapple Facts: Classic

Phony Snapple
Snapple brand drink is a very popular drink. There are fun facts on the caps of Snapple brand drinks. Here are some of my favorite fun facts from the caps of Snapple brand drinks. If Snapple sees this: Hands off. These are my own ideas. Don't you dare try putting them on your Snapple website or there'll be trouble. I am (probably) not some corporate whore.

Attention: Graduation!

Southern Grad
Southern Stereotype Graduation Itinerary

Where - Captured Injun Memorial Arena
Day - When Schoolins done
When - 5 Hours Afore the Witchin Hour

Sainted / Tainted 3: Psychotropics & Patriots

Sainted Tainted

In this issue of Sainted / Tainted we've only printed letters from war veterans. Theirs are a voice which is often lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Please take some time out of your day to visit a war veteran or something. Nah, I changed my mine. It doesn't really matter.


The Baron's Novel Revealed!

Logo
Greetings and saltations friends. This is your friend The Baron here with another update for you. What was this update sparked by you might ask? Well first of all it is my love of the written word. Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than knowing my writing is bringing joy to thousands of people on the internet. But mostly this update is sort of a reward for an email I recently received. It isn’t often I get positive feedback (this is the wretched interweb after all) but when I do I like to share the good will with everyone. What follows is the lovely email of to which I was referring to:

The 36th Annual Grammy Awards!

Grammy Awards
Live from the beautiful Huston Astrodome: It's the 36th annual Grammy Awards! With your hosts:

Life of the Party: Exotic Dancing Service!

Pole Dancer

Say goodbye to dull and uninteresting parties forever, with our ALL NEW Life of the Party Exotic Dancing service! Here’s how it works: Simply call our toll free, easy-to-dial 800 number (1-800-544-1345) and Life of the Party will possibly send one of our kooky and erotic strippers to the venue of your choice, absolutely free of charge! They might show up, but then again, they might not! The mystery is part of the fun with Life of the Party Exotic Dancers! You supply the barbeque, we supply the beef!

Forum Harassment: Mike Tyson's Punchout

Mike Tyson
A conversation I had with some Mike Tyson's Punchout fans on a gamefaqs message board in 2004. Not very funny and not really a prank. Just sort of a boredom-killing experiment. I guess I would call it a mild success.





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