haphazard collection of fascinating links, weird news stories, and
random crap exhumed from all corners of the internet.
This week: Walmart Masturbation, Godly Mutations, Ethnic Slurs, The
World’s Worst Themeparks, High School Teacher Nudity, and Good News
[A man] was arrested and charged with obscenity after an
[a] Walmart. An off-duty Kenner police officer working a security
detail at the store was approached by a shopper who wished to remain
anonymous [who] told the officer that it looked like the man was in the
electronic section of the store masturbating while watching a young boy.
Officers, along with Walmart security, found the man and detained him.
After reviewing the surveillance video in the store, it was confirmed
that he was masturbating while watching a boy who appeared to be
between the ages of 9 and 13, police said.
A 91-year-old widow had the embalmed corpses of her husband and twin
sister dug up, and stored them at her house - in the case of her late
husband, for more than a decade - tending to the remains as best she
could until police were finally tipped off last month.
She kept her sister, who was dressed in her "best housecoat," on an old
couch in a spare room off the bedroom. She sprayed her with expensive
perfume that was [her sister’s] favorite. Her husband, who had been
laid to rest in a nearby cemetery, wore a dark suit, white shirt and
blue knitted tie.
Authorities were looking into possible violations including misdemeanor
abuse of a corpse. He also said violations of state health code
provisions regulating how bodies must be disinterred are punishable as
Police say a man lighting fireworks has blown off his arm at a party on
New York's Long Island. Suffolk County police say 36-year-old Eric
Smith was using a 3-foot long metal tube to shoot mortars from the
street near his Islip Terrace home around 5:45 p.m. Saturday.
Police believe he leaned over the device to ignite it and didn't get
out of the way before an explosive shot out of the launcher. His left
arm was severed at the shoulder.
Smith was taken to Southside Hospital in serious condition while
friends packed the lost limb in ice to try to save it. Police believe
doctors will try to reattach his arm.
A farmer in northern Egypt says his cow has given birth to
calf that he calls a "divine miracle." Sobhy el-Ganzoury said Saturday
it took two hours and much pulling to deliver the rare calf. He said
the difficult birth has weakened the calf's legs.
El-Ganzoury said the veterinarian informed him that the calf, which was
born this week, is now in stable condition and is expected to survive.
The calf still can't stand up because of its heavy heads and weak legs,
and is being fed her mother’s milk with a baby bottle. He said he
intends to keep the animal as a reminder that "God is able to do
anything [even things he shouldn’t, like create a terrifying, crippled
monstrosity that cannot even walk or feed itself]."
A New York high school fired two female teachers who were
recent evening allegedly drunk and at least partially naked in a
classroom, officials said.
New York High School Superintendent Linda Waite's report of the Nov. 20
incident said [a] James Madison High School French teacher and Spanish
teacher were found in a classroom at 8:50 p.m. by maintenance workers
[who] reported seeing "a woman lying on the floor naked from the waist
up" and a school safety officer summoned to the classroom said the
women were "naked," with one "on her knees" and one "lying on the
The superintendent said the teachers appeared drunk, displaying slurred
speech, red eyes and difficulty walking without stumbling.
STRUTTIN THAT AZZ
ALL CAPS CUSTOMER REVIEW OF THE WEEK
And so ends another fantastic and eventful week on the internet.
I bid you farewell.