Web Detritus (Week of 08.15.10)

Web DetritusA reasonably interesting collection of fascinating links, strange news stories, and other random junk I found on the internet.

This week: Chinese Spike Benches, Public Pool Defecation, Genital-Exposing Short Shorts, Secretly Gay Husbands, Twinkies, Born Again Racists, and Pinpointing The Exact Moment Star Wars Started To Suck.



WEIRD NEWS

Chinese Benches Use Spikes To Deter Bench Hogs
Spikes
Park officials in China have found a way to stop people from hogging their benches for too long - by fitting steel spikes on a coin-operated timer. If visitors at the Yantai Park in Shangdong province, eastern China, linger too long without feeding the meter, dozens of sharp spikes shoot through the seat.

The spikes are too short to cause any serious harm - but long enough to prevent people from sitting on them comfortably.

"We have to make sure the facilities are shared out evenly and this seems like a fair way to stop people grabbing a bench at dawn and staying there all day," said one park official.
Genital-Exposing Man Attempts To Steal RC Cola Delivery Truck
Oklahoma City police arrested a registered sex offender who is accused of threatening customers at a restaurant and trying to steal a soda truck while wearing shorts that exposed his buttocks and genitals.
 
An officer who had just finished his lunch was in the parking lot when he saw a shirtless and barefoot man walk into the restaurant, the report states. Part of the man's buttocks were exposed. he man walked quickly out of the restaurant moments later and headed toward an RC Cola delivery truck parked behind it, according to the report. He looked through the driver's side window, got inside the truck and tried to start it.
 
The man soon jumped out and the officer ordered him to the ground at gunpoint, the report states. The man's face and shorts were covered in gold paint, and his genitals were exposed through the shorts' open zipper.
 
A restaurant patron who was there with his wife and daughter told police the man threatened them with a knife, but he ran away when an employee yelled at him to leave.
White Trash Church Plans To Burn Qur'ans In Celebration Of Own Idiocy
A [hilariously backwards] Gainesville church says it plans to burn copies of [what they assume to be] the Qur’an, even after the city denied a permit to do so. The Dove World Outreach Center [a branch of the National Association For The Advancement Of Baseless Racial & Religious Bigotry] says it wants to burn Qur’ans to mark the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks [which were perpetuated by relegious extremists who bear a striking similarity to the mountain-dwelling, slack-jawed humanoid creatures who patronize The Dove World Outreach Center, albiet with a slightly darker skin tone].
 
The city says the church will be fined if it follows through with the burning, but the [members of the church beat upon their sunken, hairless chests and howled while bearing their yellowing hillbilly teeth and said they would] not step down.
 
The church made headlines last year after distributing t-shirts that read "Islome is the devill. [sic]"
Two Arrested For Defecation Prank At Pool
Two teens are facing felony charges following a prank that shut down the main swimming pool at an exclusive Tampa Bay area resort. Security guards at the Renaissance Vinoy in downtown St. Petersburg say they witnessed [two men] defecating in the hotel pool shortly after midnight Thursday. Investigators say the two men then smeared their feces on the bottom of the pool.

Cline and Harris were both arrested on felony burglary charges because the cost to clean the pool ran into the thousands of dollars. The hotel's manager says this is at least the second time in recent weeks the pool has been shut down because of such actions.


COOL STUFF

How The Star Wars Franchise Became A Worthless Piece Of Shit
 
Photos Of All 37 Ingredients In A Twinkie
 
9 Signs Your Gay Husband Might Be Gay

The US Criminal Justice System Is Absolutely Terrifying

Anti-Tank Dogs: Horrifying Awesomeness

 
Alright Fine: This Steampunk House Is Actually Pretty Cool
 
The Dancing Plague of 1518

Highest Paying Jobs You Can Get With a Two Year Degree

Superfantastico Amazing Soft Drink Visualization Chart
 
Let's Get Rid Of The Fucking Penny Already


IM DA BEST



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