Web Detritus (Week of 08.01.10)

Two Legged LambA haphazard collection of cool links, weird news stories, and other random crap exhumed from the darkest corners of the internet.
 
This week: How It Feels To Die Of A Heroin Overdose, Kids Named Hitler, Undead Infants, Accidental Destruction Of Valuable Property, Traditional Turkish Choking Dances, And One Thousand Ways To Die.
 

WEIRD NEWS

Man Claims "Assault" was Traditional Dance
A Turkish man living in New Zealand said allegations he beat his wife were the result of police misunderstanding a traditional dance. [The man] said he, his wife and his two teenage children had been dancing the kolbasti, a Turkish dance originating in the 1930s, in the parking lot outside of their kebab shop to celebrate a profitable day.

He claimed that the reported hitting, kicking and strangling a witness reported him perpetrating on his wife, Elmas, were simulated moves that comprise part of the dance.

"We are always dancing," said the man, who pleaded not guilty to an assault charge.
Adolf Hitler & His Sisters Removed From Their Parent's Custody
A US appeals court has ruled a couple who gave their children Nazi-inspired names should not regain custody, citing the risk of serious injury to them. Adolf Hitler Campbell, 4, and his sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, 3, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie, 2, were taken from their New Jersey home in 2009.
 
The case first came to public attention in December 2008 after a shop refused to decorate a birthday cake for Adolf. A family court had earlier found there was insufficient evidence of abuse.
 
The panel found that the parents, who both suffer from unspecified physical and psychological disabilities, had "recklessly created a risk of serious injury to their children by failing to protect the children from harm and failing to acknowledge and treat their disabilities".
Teacher Fakes Fall Down Stairs For Some Reason
New York education officials said a teacher who allegedly faked a fall down the stairs to avoid a performance review is no longer eligible to teach in the city.

Officials said the [first-year teacher] at the High School for Innovation in Advertising and Media, was caught on camera faking a fall down the stairs in an apparent attempt to get out of a scheduled classroom observation by her supervisor.

The woman, who denied faking the December 2008 fall, resigned from the school system and officials said she has since been classified ineligible to teach in the city's school system.
Zombified Mexican Baby Rises From Dead
Authorities in Mexico say a newborn baby girl declared dead by doctors revived inside her coffin during her wake. Hidalgo state Attorney General Jose Rodriguez says the parents heard a strange noise coming from the tiny casket. Opening it up, they found her crying and very much alive.

Rodriguez told state public radio Thursday that the doctor who pronounced the girl dead at a hospital in the town of Tulancingo is being investigated for possible negligence.
School Bus Crashes After Driver Vomits, Falls Out
A US school bus company is being sued after a driver allegedly fell out of a moving bus when he leant out to vomit. The driver-less bus full of schoolchildren ended up crashing into a nearby ditch.

[One mother] claims the driver opened the door of the bus "in an attempt to lean over so he could barf". The driver fell out onto the road while the bus full of schoolchildren continued moving and crashed into a ditch, her lawsuit claims.

Court papers do not specify the nature of the child's injury or say if anyone else was injured in the crash.

COOL STUFF

Why Japan Sucks At making Cellphones (Just Like It Does At Everything Else)
 
10 Videos of Reporters Accidentally Destroying Things
 
12 Dietary Supplements You Should Avoid (And Their Effects)
 
What It Would Feel Like To Die of A Heroin Overdose

Should Videotaping The Police Be Illegal? (Hint: Fuck No)

Woman Kicked Off Plane After Asking If Asshole Pilot Had Been Drinking
 
Starcraft Economy Infographic

Deepest Swimming Pool In The World

1000 Ways To Die Episode Descriptions (Much Cooler Than Actually Watching The Shitty TV Show)

 

OH DEAR.


 

ALL CAPS CUSTOMER REVIEW OF THE WEEK

All Caps Customer Review Aladdin
 
 

And So...

As has been a weekly tradition for this series of articles since its inception, I will now proceed to write the outro paragraph.

There.

I have done it.