Weird News (Week of 03.07.10)

WEB DETRITUS

As many of you may already know, this month is Dead Animal Preservation Month. It's important that we all take time out of our busy lives once and a while to look back upon the animals we have lost or deliberately killed. In addition to this, I believe strongly that we should also make at least a cursory attempt to preserve their lifeless corpses. In honor of this, I am hereby proclaiming this to be a very special "Dead Pet Preservation" edition of Weird News.

I do hope very much that you (and the marble-eyed motionles dog posed stiffly in your living room) enjoy it.

WEIRD NEWS STORIES OF THE WEEK

Woman Sells "Souls" on Ebay, Idiots Buy Them For $2000

Two glass vials purportedly containing the ghosts of two dead people sold for $2,830 New Zealand dollars ($1,983) at an auction that ended Monday night.

The "ghosts" were put up for bidding by Avie Woodbury from the southern city of Christchurch. She said they were captured in her house and stored in glass vials with stoppers and dipped in holy water, which she says "dulls the spirits' energy."
She said they were the spirits of an old man who lived in the house during the 1920s, and a powerful, disruptive little girl who turned up after a session with a spirit-calling Ouija board.

Restaraunt Serves Breast Milk Cheese

A New York chef said public demand led him to allow diners at his restaurant to sample homemade cheese made from his wife's breast milk.

Klee Brasserie chef Daniel Angerer, who once beat famed cook Bobby Flay on TV's "Iron Chef," said his regular customers became curious after he started blogging about his accomplishments with human-produced cheese, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

"The phone was ringing off the hook," Angerer said. "So I prepared a little canape of breast-milk cheese with figs and Hungarian pepper."

Religious Practicioners Ingest Snail Mucus, Become Violently Ill

Devotees of a man claiming to practice a traditional African religion said they had to ingest the mucus of a Giant African Snail that sickened them. Federal authorities in January raided the Miami man's home after receiving complaints. The man has not been criminally charged, but prosecutors and state and federal wildlife agencies are investigating. The Giant African Snail is prohibited in the U.S. without special approval.

Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.

Man Becomes Angry Over Water Bill, Allegedly Blows Up Motor Home

Investigators quoted witnesses as saying Johnny Dossey, 43, coated his mobile home in gasoline Wednesday and the residence exploded only moments after he ignited the flames, the Miami Herald reported Thursday.

Dossey was arrested and charged with arson of a structure. Police said he may have been intoxicated at the time of the incident.

Neighbor Luis Alvarez, 43, said Dossey was arguing with his father about the size of his $70 water bill prior to setting fire to the home.

Police Say Burglar Viewed Porno on Church TV

Second-degree burglary charges have been filed against a man who broke into a church where he allegedly used the institution's electronic equipment to watch pornography. Police allege the 55-year-old man broke into the [church] on Thursday. After gathering items from around the building, he is believed to have gone to the basement to spend the night.

Police summoned to the church Friday by staff, found the man trying to haul away a garbage can filled with food, kitchen utensils, clothes, electronic equipment and a 26-inch flat-screen television.

[Police] said the man used the electronic equipment to watch pornographic movies that were found on him when he was arrested.

PRODUCT OF THE WEEK

Cryogenically Preserved Pet

The loss of a pet can be a devestaring blow. Owners of recenly deceased pets often find themselves afflicted with empty nest syndrome. They are troubled by inescabable thoughts such as "who will damage my furniture?", "who will make unseemly or obscene noises in the middle of the night while I am attempting to sleep", or even more frequently "who will will crap on the floor?" Oftentimes bringing in a small child or elderly relative to live in the home is enough to fill this void, but this is not always possible.

Here's where Pet Cryonics comes in. For the low price of around $5,800 (+Shipping and handling), the Cryonic Instutute will flash freeze your beloved dogor cat in order that they might (hypothetically) be resurrected (or cloned) at a later date.

For those of you who might be interested, here are a few other relevant details:

Preserving Dead Pets

If your pet has already died and you want us to try to do a perfusion with cryoprotectants to reduce ice crystal formation, put your pet in a refrigerator as soon as possible if it will fit. If it will not fit in a refrigerator, try to find a tub or basin which is large enough. Put ice and ice-water around your pet so that it will cool and remain at ice-water temperature.

Shipment

When ready for shipment, try to find a picnic-type cooler — a well-insulated container which will hold your pet and enough ice too keep your pet cool for the shipment. Pack zip-lock bags with ice cubes or ice packs around your pet and seal the container.

Pet Birds

For a pet bird of typical size we charge $700, but the price may be higher for a very large bird.

Total Cost

Excluding the cost of Membership, the cost of cryopreserving a cat is $5,800, which does not include shipping and veterinarian expenses. For a dog, cryopreservation cost is $5,800 up to 15 pounds in weight plus $150 per pound for every pound above 15.

If you are foolish enough to require more information about pet & human cryonics, I suggest that you visit The Cryonics Institute's website.