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WEIRD NEWS STORIES OF THE WEEKBaby Found on Snowmobile Trail
A Swedish couple said they nearly ran over a 6-month-old baby while snowmobiling in the north of the country. [They] said they stopped the snowmobile [to] investigate the object on the trail ahead. "At first we didn't realize what it was lying there. We thought it was a doll. It was sleeping and murmured a little when we picked it up, but then it fell asleep again," Karlsson said.Racist Dog's Eye Slashed With 9-Inch Knife
The couple said they soon encounter [sic] two men on skis pulling sleds, one containing two children and the other empty."We drove up to them and asked if it was their child. One of the men confirmed that it was his and then added: 'I thought it had gone a bit quiet back here,'" Karlsson said.The pair said they were shocked by the man's response to losing the baby on the trail.
A prejudiced pooch that reportedly disliked minorities was slashed Monday night by a Black man who had grown tired of the dog's incessant barking at him, police said. The German Shepherd lost an eye, and the alleged slasher - who worked for an oil delivery business where the dog stood guard - was arrested on a felony aggravated cruelty charge.World's Largest Rabbit Held By Young Girl For Manipulative Photo Op
"The dog reacts to Black people, Hispanics, anyone who is not White," owner Paul Tocco said. "She always barked at him. He (Owens) was well aware the dog didn't like him, and he knew to stay away from her."
[The man] "egged on" the barking dog and charged at her, Detective Ken Ross III said. He allegedly then pulled out a nine-inch folding knife. "He taunted her with his arm, raised his arm with a knife and slashed the dog across the face," he said. "He cut the dog over the right eye, all the way down to the eye socket bone."
[The owner] placed [the dog] in a work van and drove her to a Greenburgh, N.Y., animal hospital. "The dog is supposedly in good spirits and is OK now," Ross said. "But it did lose the eye."
Darius, a Continental Giant who is only 13 months old, was held by a small female child on Thursday in order that a reporter might take a more manipulative photo of the reasonably interesting creature.Dumbass Town Falls for Alien Invasion April Fools Prank
"I guess this would make a decent human interest story for the Christian holiday of easter." Photographer Angie Sinesero was heard to remark as she packed up her camera. "They'll probably be able to wring at least a 2000 word feature out of it, if not more. Which is pretty good for what is essentially a photo most people would take a few moments to look at before smiling disinterestedly and carrying on with their essentially joyless lives."
A spokesman from Guinness World Records said: "What the fuck do you want from me? It's the biggest rabbit ever. Do you want me to make up a story about it? Fine. Once there was a scientist and he fed a rabbit a bunch of radioactive corned beef and it got so big that eventually it broke down the walls of the science house and the cops tried shooting it but the bullets had no effect the rabbit just laughed and one time it jumped so high it flew into outer space." He then paused for a moment, adding, "Satisfied?"
A Jordanian newspaper's April Fool's Day report chronicling a late-night visit by 10-foot-tall aliens in flying saucers sparked public panic and almost led to the town's emergency evacuation, officials said Monday. The report said the UFOs lit up the whole town, interrupted communications and sent fearful residents streaming into the streets.Women Tried to Smuggle Corpse Onto Plane
[The town's] mayor, Mohammed Mleihan, got caught up in the paper's prank and said he sent security authorities in search of the aliens. "Students didn't go to school, their parents were frightened and I almost evacuated the town's 13,000 residents," Mleihan told The Associated Press. "People were scared that aliens would attack them."
A Jordanian security official, speaking on condition of anonymity in order to discuss security issues, said an emergency plan was almost enacted in Jafr.
Police have arrested two women at an British airport after they reportedly tried to smuggle a corpse onto a flight. Police [said] the women were detained at Liverpool's John Lennon airport "on suspicion of failing to give notification of death" of a 91-year-old man.
[The BBC] reported that the women placed the man, a relative of theirs, into a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses in a bid to get him aboard a flight to Berlin.
PRODUCT OF THE WEEK
Enormous & Somewhat-Feral Savannah Cat ($1000-$20,000)
One problem I've always had with my cat is that she is extraordinarily well-behaved, non-aggressive, and quiet. This has always bothered me, as when seeking a household pet I often look for the animals which are least suited to domestic life. That's why I was exited to learn about Savannahs, a relatively new breed of cat which has only recently begun to become popular with cat owners.
What are Savannahs? To put it simply: Savannahs are domestic cats bred with african wild cats (Servals). Imagine a small cheetah living in your home, and you will have a good idea of what makes the Savannah such a wonderful, worry-free pet. Here are a few other things which can potentially make ownership of this breed a treasure.
- They can grow as large as a human toddler. These cats have
known to weigh as much as 20 pounds, and grow as tall as a foot and a
half. Like most cats, they also have razor sharp claws and are easily
startled. I see no problems here.
- You can shower with them. Owners report that the cats do not fear
water. As such, you can take a shower with your cat. Don't ask me.
- They can jump 8 feet into the air. Having an enormous and nosy
cat which could leap on top of anything (doors, refrigerators, ceiling
fans, you, etc) would be a lot of fun to deal with!
- They hiss like snakes. It has been said that the hiss of a Savannah is like the hiss of a very large snake, and can frighten those who are unprepared for it. It might be fun to test this out on small very children or elderly relatives with heart conditions.
So hey: if you've got a couple thousand to spare you might consider investing in one of these cats.
VIDEO OF THE WEEK
ALL CAPS CUSTOMER REVIEW OF THE WEEKJurassic Park DVD