I'm not going to insult you people by trying to pretend that this wasn't a slow news week. It was. Even for shitty "not-really-even-close-to-being-news" news. Seriously, look what I have: A story about a man asking for piggyback rides, alternative medicine fanatics getting what they deserve, a huge pile of corpses left to rot, and a Tony Danza fansite from the late 90s.
I think what I'm really trying to say here is: Don't read this article. There are far better ways for you to spend your time. Like attempting to slice some bread with a length of thin wire. Or seeing how high you can kick. Or talking to yourself in the shower. Stuff like that, you know?
WEIRD NEWS STORIES OF THE WEEKAlternative Medicine Guru Nearly Killed By Own Product
Health guru Gary Null, nutrition author and marketer of dietary supplements including Gary Null’s Ultimate Power Meal, filed a lawsuit against a manufacturer claiming that he nearly died after taking his own supplements.Man Who Requested Piggyback Rides Jailed
Null claims that after consuming two doses of his Ultimate Power Meal each day for a month as directed, he experienced severe kidney damage and "excruciating fatigue along with bodily pain" as well as bleeding "within his feet." Null claims that the manufacturer, Triarco Industries, put 1,000 times the correct dose of Vitamin D in his product. According to Null’s attorney at least a half-dozen other consumers also became sick from the tainted supplement.
Ironically, Null and his customers would likely not have been poisoned if his products were held to the same standards and regulations that real drugs are subjected to--and which Null and others in the "alt med" industry have long rejected.
A man who befriended high school athletes in Washington and Oregon and asked them for piggyback rides has been arrested in Tualatin. Police told KGW they arrested the man at a hotel on Monday on a drug-related warrant from Mount Vernon, Wash. An officer had seen him in recent days at a school event.Woman With No Arms Or Kneecaps Trains For Blackbelt
The Oregon School Activities Association had advised athletes to look out for the suspect after he turned up at games in Eugene and Pendleton. Executive Director Tom Welter said the man talked his way into locker rooms and got piggyback rides from some players.
A Massachusetts woman who was born without arms or kneecaps is preparing to test for her black belt in taekwondo. Sheila Radziewicz was scheduled to take her test next month at Bruce McCorry's Martial Arts in Peabody. The 32-year-old brown belt, who was born with thrombocytopenia-absent radius, or TAR syndrome, told The Salem News she's been training in martial arts for three years.Funeral Home Accused of Stacking Bodies in Garage
McCorry, her teacher, said he's never seen a student like Radziewicz. Despite her condition, she can use nunchucks and break boards with her kicks.
A Maryland funeral home has lost its license after investigators found about 40 bodies stacked on top of each other, leaking fluid, in a garage, a state official said. Hari Close, president of the the state funeral board, told CNN Tuesday that some of the bodies were cadavers who had been donated to a local university for research. Other bodies came from other funeral homes, Close said.
The bodies were supposed to be cremated, but investigators were alarmed at how they were stored in the garage while they awaited cremation.
When investigators inspected the funeral home they were warned by an employee, who told them, "Don't get upset about all the bodies in there," according to documents released by the state funeral board.
TONY DANZA FAN SITE OF THE WEEK
The Tony Danza Bonanza
In case you hadn't heard (and honestly, who hasn't), the Tony Danza Bonanza is "THE place for up-to-date Tony Danza information". I've been a huge Danza fanatic ever since I was a kid. Sure, I might not have watched any of his TV shows, seen any of his films, or even done the slightest amount of research on him, but I still consider myself one of his biggest fans. That why I love The Tony Danza Bonanza: It combines my love of Tony Danza with my love of reading almost offensively out-of-date about Tony Danza in one easy to love package.
This site is a vast repository of Danzaformation and can be a bit daunting for first time visitors, so I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of the must-see features and sections.
Tony Danza QuotesOccasionally, Tony Danza says makes statements or asks rhetorical questions. This section is dedicated to reliving those timeless moments. But DO NOT visit this portion of the site unless you're ready to have your world shaken by quotes like these:
"I take a bunch of vitamins. I am a vitamin guy. Cod liver oil really helps your joints. I also take antixidants [sic], becuase [sic] I have cancer in my family, unfortunately."
"In an earthquake, I shouldn't run out of the house -- I should run into it."
"My mother alwasy [sic] wanted me to be a lawyer."
Danza Brief PageI had hoped this was going to be a page featuring photos of Tony in his favorite pairs of underwear, but unfortunately this was not the case. Mostly it just shows his birthdate and an ancient filmography copied and pasted from IMDB. Disappointing.
Tony Danza Photo Gallery
Tony Danza LinksThis page has links to Infoseek which was shut down years ago, and this statement: "The Tony Danza Bonanza is the best Tony Danza fan site out there! No other site comes close to our quality and up-to-date information!" which, as far as I can tell, is true. Though The Tony Danza Bonanza doesn't seem to have been updated for at least 7 years, it was still one of the top search results for "Tony Danza", beating out even Tony's official blog, "The Daily Danza".
There's tons more great stuff on the site, but I'll leave it up to you to find it. Half the adventure is in the journey! It's danzariffic!
VIDEO OF THE WEEK
ALL CAPS CUSTOMER REVIEW OF THE WEEKKid Rock - Devil Without a Cause
That's it for this week in weird news. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!